Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Melt Down Cured With Ice Cream

So last night, I had a melt down. No, it was not a huge dramatic thing, but there were a few tears. Nobody ever said that this wife thing would be easy, and I never expected it to be. But, I did put unrealistic expectations on myself to do it perfectly. I felt like part of being a good wife was always keeping the house spotless, having the laundry done, the dishes put away, everything dusted, floors mopped, and the list goes on. I didn't realize how tough of a job this would be on top of graduate school and working part time.

The story goes that Jerry came home from work and I immediately start apologizing to him that the house is so dirty. He responds, "It's okay, I'll help you clean it." This statement starts the tears. I was feeling so guilty that my husband would have to say that after coming home from working all day long. I felt as though it was expected of me to have it done already. I felt as if I had failed. I feel silly even as I write this, because I realize now how wrong my expectations of myself as a wife were. Let's be real, our apartment isn't always spotless, the dishes aren't always done, and neither is the laundry. All of these things aren't why Jerry married me though. There are so many other things that I can contribute as a wife, like love, support and encouragement. It's hard to remember that though when you feel like these other things are staring you in the face.

Anyways, Jerry hugged and consoled me and then took me to get some ice cream. Cold Stone to be exact, my favorite! This helped a lot, as ice cream usually does. I have such an amazing husband who always affirms me in the areas that I need it, and for that I am thankful.

So I'm going to keep trying at keeping up with all of the household chores, but there's grace when I don't. Jerry doesn't expect me to be perfect, so I shouldn't expect myself to be either.

Another lesson learned from being a newlywed. Can any of you relate?


Earl-Leigh said...

I can definitely relate. My hubby and I have been married for a little over a year now. The first few months of marriage were stressful, but not because of anything he did or asked of me. I took it upon myself to clean up the apartment, cook dinner (breakfast, lunch and dinner on weekends), do laundry and work a full-time job outside of the house without asking for help. He would ask me if I needed help, but I'd tell him "no" because I thought that a "good wife" would do everything herself. The day I reached my breaking point, Mike asked me what he could do to make me feel better. (And I got to stay home from the office the next day.) One year later, we split the chores more evenly and I'm a happy camper.

Tiffany Dawn said...

This is really sweet. Thanks for being vulnerable about where you were. I'm glad you realized those expectations were too much! You've got such a sweet hubs!! :)

Audra Kurtz said...

Awww Lindz you are too cute. I don't think anyone can take on all of those responsibilities by themselves! And if you can, more props to you superwoman :) Being married is about being a team and sharing the work load. I'm sure Jerry won't mind cleaning a dish or two ;)